I've come a long way....

I wonder how times were when I didn't put a thought across my mind.. I wonder how survived being so thoughtless of what I did, I was doing.. How was that immaturity all over me.

Expectations.. higher they are.. the lower you feel.
People.. the stranger you are... the happier you would be. There is a pool of people that surrounds you..each one of them cunning in their won way. I miss my best friends.. I miss them because I have not had a 'real' talk in months now.I miss some other people too, in fact I don't... really because they are a part of me.

The world is for people who are sensible enough to make judgments of their own. Not following the crowd is one.. being in the crowd is another and I think being in the first one is better. Laziness kills.. but I am lazy.. not that I want to be....
I am writing this at 7 am.. have been up since 4 am.. I don't complain.. I don't crib.. I've stopped doing that.. I don't see a point doing that..its a waste of time.. I am learning to deal with situations in my own sweet way.I have stopped seeking help. The zeal in making me go around.. I have learnt to say 'no'.. no to whatever I don't like. I have discovered this 'me' in myself. I have realized that its my happiness that matters to me the most. I am not selfish, just that I know, the rest of the things will fall into place automatically.

My loved ones have become dearer to me, not because I talk to them everyday, but because I see myself more connected to them, by ways of thoughts and actions.

A twenty something crisis...

Yes I am twenty something..and so are some million of people around this globe...Aren't we all wrestling with a sense that we haven’t done enough? Or done it all and don’t know what’s next?

Have you ever wondered why you aren’t enjoying "the best years of your life," and why you’re still mired in confusion about the choices you’ve made or need to make...

I call it a kaleidoscope of broken pieces of colored glass each of it shining gloriously....laughing at us..and at our 'quarter life crisis'.

Don't know if our age bracket belongs to Gen-X or E. We may have been old enough to have watched the DotCom Boom, but we were young to really get a piece of it , graduated college and entered the work force as the DotCom Boom had turned to a bust...

Grown up watching MTv and channel V.. Confused about smallest decisions of life.. Criticizing the selection processes be it CAT or Engineering.. Bothered about reservations..Anger has become the middle name. Frustration has become the new epidemic.

Hopeless and helpless..we look for avenues,newer the better..but get exasperated again,frustrated with monotony soon.. Job kills, and manager sucks.. Change is what we want..and reluctant to change we are.. irony it is.. but a better truth.

A 'quarter' of life we've seen.. and another two awaits..All we wish for is a stable life..and do zilch for making it one.. Higher perks, steeper rise is what we dream of, but patience is what we lack..
Where are we heading to a dungeon of self pride? Or a horizon of our own ego..?

Hope that this phase too shall pass... Amen!!

Am I sane?

Define sanity.. and tell me what is it..what is a normal behaviour according to you?Are we not insane in some way or the other? Dont all of us fluctuate into extremes of tempers someday or the other?

Insanity, or madness, is a semi-permanent, severe mental disorder typically stemming from a form of mental illness. And then what is moral insanity...having wierdest of thougths? affections, habits , hysteria...or is it passion? Passion about anything. For a toddler insanity might be his tryst to climb up the stairs, stand straight , the persistent fight to get his building blocks straight. For an older generation it might be just an effort to eat food right with false teeth. Passion gives positive vibes , but what about insanity?

Are emotions driving us or is it viceversa? And when this happens it becomes hysteria. A temporary phenomena , like a bubble it vanishes...melting like ice. But the thought to ponder over is why? Why do we panic? Its the primal urge to run and hide in face of disaster, disaster of any kinds emotional , mental, physical. Its the sudden fear in me, in you which dominates and replace the rationale that we possess, blocking our pursuit to think. Its a complex combination of anxiety,apprehension ,worry. Its the obsession , complusion to get things alright. Intrusive and repetitive which often thought over seems senseless.

Tryst with ourselves to make thing better. We've not learnt to confront our fears and hence we are anxious. The keyword here is 'Escape' , escape from whatever and be maladaptive to situations. Panic takes our way and sympathy leads us to the end..yes a happy end eventually.
But what if we confront them right then and there? Will we be still hysterical?

Justified, something incorrect and abnormal makes you anxious but I am anxious when i am happy, which means i've been made to learn that nothing which is normal is correct. Am i contradicting ? There should be a sense of depravity always to make me believe its for real.

I am confused but I am hysterical I my own way too...:-)

Which 'sex and the city vixen' are you?

Sex and the City is the popular American TV programme based on the book by the same name by Candace Bushnell. Packed in the powerful 6 seasons, the series is feminist to the core. Its a strory about four best friends, and their lives as they navigate through the rugged terrains of being single, independent and sexually active in this new mellennium.

The females Carrie Bradshaw( Sarah Jessica Parker) is the voice of the show and practically narrates the whole episode, write a column in a fictional N.paper New York Star and has a fetish for shoes ,the costlier the better. Samantha Jones(Kim Cattrall) a PR consultant who avoids emotional attachment in any form and one who excercises her each and every carnal pleasure with anybody. Charolete York(Kirsten Davis) the most sophisticated and conservative of the lot, believes marriage to be the end of all relationships which gives way to kids ( being a mother of a baby daughter is her eternal desire) and finally Miranda Hobbes(Cynthia Nixon) a Lawyer by profession , is curt, Harvard University Graduate , who become the voice of the reason.These are the uptown, middle aged girls who have no issues discussing their sexual lives with each other and cynical views on men in general.

Which vixen are you?

***You Are Most Like Carrie!***
When you Get into a relationship too fast, Ready to change yourself for the guy of your dreams. Cheating on someone is the last thing you would do because handling one becomes too tough for you. You are hapy with a casual walk in the park followed by decent dining.It's tough for you to find the right match - as you're more than a little picky.You've got a great group of friends and a
great closet of clothes, no matter what!

***You Are Most Like Samantha!***
When for you, dating is the ultimate sport.You're into guys with power, looks, or a lot of money.You rather have a great two weeks than a great forever.But even you fall victim to love from time to time. :-)

***You Are Most Like Charlotte!***
When you are the ultimate romantic idealist. You've been hurt before, but that hasn't caused you to give up on love. If anything, your resolve to fall in love is stronger than ever.And it's this feminine optimism that men find most appealing about you.

***You Are Most Like Miranda!***
When you are those intellectual types, whose 'mind' thinks and reasons make you work. While you've had your fair share of romance, men don't come first .Guys are a distant third to your friends and career.And this independence *is* attractive to some men, in measured doses.

I am Carrie, what are you?

Is matrimony a bliss?

Traditional Marriage is bonding between two sex(male and female) and the Modern understanding emphasizes the legitimacy of the sexual relationships. However the eternal truth that remains is the creation of affinal ties [Read in-laws].
Science of Anthropology would encourage to societies to marry far 'off' to increase the gene-pool but traditionally and culturally close enough to have in-laws one among us or better stated as one of 'our kinds'.
The prennial problem here is: What is the right age to get married? Or is matrimony tie 'the' necessary thing to survive[ read as female survival]??
Is it a moral reposibility of every female to get married? Will she be cursed the rest of her life for not doing so? Should the feeling of matrimony bliss be inherent in every girl? Or we just the agents to reproduce and carry the generation forward?
Gone are those days, when females were dependant on there male counterparts for smallest of the gestures. Monetary and otherwise. Then why marry?
Emotional security? What is that? I dont even understand what it means. There are ways to overcome insecurites. Friends and loved ones can be engaged to into communication to talk our feeling out, would it then require a real husband in flesh and bones to secure us?
Can't we lead a normal life with no overheads of moral and social responsibilties? With no restrictions? And nobody to decide the age we get married at? With the independence to choose the 'one' only when we want to?

Understanding men...

Are men polygamous and women manogamous naturally? Is polygamy natural to mankind or is it specific to men?Do we fail to understand them when required? Would you want them to be possesive? What is limit of friendship? Is dating ,when somebody's in a relationship allowed ? How do we measure the space when they say they need it? Is it bad to doubt their commitment? Or are they really commited ?

Monogamy as defined by The Concise Oxford Dictionary is "the practice or state of being married to one person at a time or the habit of having only one mate at a time". What is the new meaning of manogamy in the e-World ? Has it become overrated ?Women are happy when they are in Love, happier when they are restricted to a single man, Does it holds true for men also?

'Detachment' is the keyword for attachment, becoming insensitve helps sometimes. Why is that when men in relationship catch with friends[read girls], its just plain friendship. And when the same happens otherwise the 'label' is flirts.When speaking with other women, why do men conceal the fact that they have girlfriend, even lie about her existence when asked?

What is the limit of freedom? Are women Masters of intuition and emotional manipulation or is it otherwise? Or do just we end up being emotional fools?

Legend has it that men make the first move. The truth is that women have always made first move and orchestrated the pace, flow and direction of romantic relationships, would it mean they are over-sensitive or are they simply BOLD?

Is his unconscious detachment from his friends by standing slightly apart, hoping to be seen as an individual to much too ask?

Should men in relationship wear labels 'I am not single' ? Can signals that are more subtle, secretive and downright loony indicate that you are interested? What fumes men when asked with whom they were?

When it comes to cheating, men are king. Reasons are myriad, But when it comes to relationship ,togetherness doesnt prove the 'love' thing. The eternal space which without reinforcing each day is what makes relationship work. Women can relax the moral code, but Let's face it: If he's a living and breathing, red-meat-eating, football-watching man, he's bound to entertain thoughts of having 'fun' with other women. If he didn't, no porn company in the world could ever operate in the black.

Just one thing :Proceed cautiously in these delicate affairs of the heart.