Understanding men...
Are men polygamous and women manogamous naturally? Is polygamy natural to mankind or is it specific to men?Do we fail to understand them when required? Would you want them to be possesive? What is limit of friendship? Is dating ,when somebody's in a relationship allowed ? How do we measure the space when they say they need it? Is it bad to doubt their commitment? Or are they really commited ?
Monogamy as defined by The Concise Oxford Dictionary is "the practice or state of being married to one person at a time or the habit of having only one mate at a time". What is the new meaning of manogamy in the e-World ? Has it become overrated ?Women are happy when they are in Love, happier when they are restricted to a single man, Does it holds true for men also?
'Detachment' is the keyword for attachment, becoming insensitve helps sometimes. Why is that when men in relationship catch with friends[read girls], its just plain friendship. And when the same happens otherwise the 'label' is flirts.When speaking with other women, why do men conceal the fact that they have girlfriend, even lie about her existence when asked?
What is the limit of freedom? Are women Masters of intuition and emotional manipulation or is it otherwise? Or do just we end up being emotional fools?
Legend has it that men make the first move. The truth is that women have always made first move and orchestrated the pace, flow and direction of romantic relationships, would it mean they are over-sensitive or are they simply BOLD?
Is his unconscious detachment from his friends by standing slightly apart, hoping to be seen as an individual to much too ask?
Should men in relationship wear labels 'I am not single' ? Can signals that are more subtle, secretive and downright loony indicate that you are interested? What fumes men when asked with whom they were?Monogamy as defined by The Concise Oxford Dictionary is "the practice or state of being married to one person at a time or the habit of having only one mate at a time". What is the new meaning of manogamy in the e-World ? Has it become overrated ?Women are happy when they are in Love, happier when they are restricted to a single man, Does it holds true for men also?
'Detachment' is the keyword for attachment, becoming insensitve helps sometimes. Why is that when men in relationship catch with friends[read girls], its just plain friendship. And when the same happens otherwise the 'label' is flirts.When speaking with other women, why do men conceal the fact that they have girlfriend, even lie about her existence when asked?
What is the limit of freedom? Are women Masters of intuition and emotional manipulation or is it otherwise? Or do just we end up being emotional fools?
Legend has it that men make the first move. The truth is that women have always made first move and orchestrated the pace, flow and direction of romantic relationships, would it mean they are over-sensitive or are they simply BOLD?
Is his unconscious detachment from his friends by standing slightly apart, hoping to be seen as an individual to much too ask?
When it comes to cheating, men are king. Reasons are myriad, But when it comes to relationship ,togetherness doesnt prove the 'love' thing. The eternal space which without reinforcing each day is what makes relationship work. Women can relax the moral code, but Let's face it: If he's a living and breathing, red-meat-eating, football-watching man, he's bound to entertain thoughts of having 'fun' with other women. If he didn't, no porn company in the world could ever operate in the black.
Just one thing :Proceed cautiously in these delicate affairs of the heart.
posted by camouflaged9 at 11:40 PM
21 Comments:
It would be simply injustice to draw any conclusion here wheather Men are Mongamous or Polygamous....Ofcourse we can go for a statistics. B'coz I know men who are entirely committed to monogamy and the reverse one also..We all look, men and women at someone who is attractive, but most people will not even consider cheating on their spouse because of a momentary attraction.
We can define a word here 'Love'..Love and Commitment go hand-in-hand in monogamy.
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I agree this society is full of diplomacy and questions which go unanswered...."men are from mars and women are from venus" indeed
Too many questions in your first blog :) well, letz face it...much of a coin's virtues lies on how u see it...women want men to exude warmth and affection. They look for the knight, who from intelgalactic space talk sweet and displays attention. Men, on the contrary want women to make only a ‘bit’ of their existence feel complete. The truth is that there are limitless boundaries to what makes a man happy. A loving wife or an understanding girlfriend is just one iota of the perception that woman tend to fulfill. Women tend to take ‘falling in love’ as the end of the journey. On the contrary, for men there was no journey in the first place !
Vinayak
your post does seem to address a very pertinent, but a very complicated question. U talk about relationships from the point of view of both the sexes, however in my opinion nothing much can be generalised, simply because its the matter of the heart. U say that "Women are happy when they are in Love, happier when they are restricted to a single man". What is the definition of restriction? I would certainly not like to be barred by my mate to not associate with others of the opposite sex (in a platonic manner, of course). And i know several men who show-off their girl-friends to public..But is that really important, to be taken as a means of desire and acceptance? Answering this is difficult, but probably (and hopefully) we all mature with our relationships!
Hey Buddy !!!
Great !!! Your thoughts trigger SPARKS ... Thanks that you have so many Questions out there ... !!! Definite thing for me to keep MYSELF busy with my inner self and thoughts for atleast some time from now ... !!!
Let me dig into the of each of your questions out there ... Well I do have an answer as of NOW ... But would love to dig much deeper into this ... lets see where it takes all of us ...
Till then keep SPARKING Questions !!! Right thing to do when you are CONFUSED ;-)
God Bless You !!!
Cheers !!!
Sagar.
It is true. Men are known to be instinctively polygamous - there is no doubt about that. It is very hypocritical for men to deny it.
And as you put it, in today's e-world I would say even women are. Fair statement?
I guess all this doesnt hold good, if u see around. Today, it is more of the flirtatious nature of the females that the men want to go after. The simple fact is, that females unknowingly do it all the time. Being in the office, u go out with guys for lunches dinners and movies, but if for once the guy does that, the label of him being the flirt and the female being the bitch is straightaway termed!! I dont deny the fact that men are polygamous by nature, no doubt about it, but then women are secretive bout their going too. And that, my dear, added to the never trusting attitude they have, creeps up such questions in the fairer sexs' mind as well as such blogs!!
hey camouflaged, history gives us instances of both polygamy and monogamy. We (humans) were once in a polygamic society which is quite complex and unimaginable in today's world.
Being a male I personally feel polygamy is not a sin when it is commonly practised by both the sexes. But we are far away from that day. All the problems started with political insecurity with civilizations. When man started fighting with man for food, for shelter, for money, the society felt the need for protecting and rejunavating themselves and hence monogamy came into practice.
In a society of my dreams there wont be any fear of insecurities. Anybody can choose their partner(s) as they wish, and this will largely releive stress in ppls' minds. There shouldn't be any mistakes unless we feel the idea is a bit disgusting.
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and comou` pls reconsider your opinion on men. All men are not cheats. Take me, I have been cheated by a girl badly and I dont feel like complaining because I always beleive all ppl are not the same.
that's quite hard-hitting.
but emotions should never take over the (key)strokes.
Personal views are modeled by personal experiences.
Men (lets say a strong majority of them) are known to be polygamous by nature but the same is also true for women even though the majority would probably have thinned.
I suppose your comments hold weight in the Indian society where Women are traditionaly the ones known to try and "pull through" a relationship which they once enter into while men are known to consider "pulling out" of a bad relationship.
But I have never known a Man or Women or Animal who wouldnt want to continue with all his/her heart and soul in a relationship that he TRULY enjoys and wouldnt 'fantasize' about polygamy or 'other women/men'. If the relationship goes bad then yes Men have been susceptible to ditch the relationship while the women will try to stick to it.
But again I repeat this viewpoint has weight in an Indian scenario and not when you consider it globally. The American, European and other so-called 'progressed' societies have women who are known to be just as polygamous as Men.
Thats all my Lord. :)
well, it wudnt be right 4 me to take any sides..all i wud say is that this article is a great Food 4 thought...
u make the readers think bout the issues which r really intricate and sensitive...i hope (wishfully!) dat u get ur answers!
:)
Just read your blog, written very nicely but I will say that it is quite biased dont know whats the reason either you didnt get the chance to know the MATURE MAN or you interacted with lot of women which sufferred because of man's ploygamous nature.
You are quite right that most of the man tries to look for more than one woman but it is also very true that when the man gets his woman, he is more commited than a woman. And take it, this is the feedback I got it from my female friends.
Lets take an example of a couple which couldnt tie the know because of some reason. Now the girl will go and marry to another man, will forget her love in few days and gets settled. But this is not the case on the other side , then man might marry another woman because of social pressure but still he will never be able to forget his first love. This difference might be because of our society which is mainly driven by man.
I can write a lot on this subject but I think this is enough to give you my idea on this subject.
Anyway, keep writing...
Good Luck!!!
-Amit
life ..till now.. hasn treated you with a confident young man with some handsome brainwaves..
if it had...your doubts would stand dispelled !!
prolly try bein friends with me..
you ll know !!
all girls..bold n beautiful..
love bein charmed*..
n surely..a flirtatious comment made with a blue blooded courtesy would please ..anyday!! betchaa !!
but before you go out n judge men coz of their inherent flaws..n cheap gestures..
use a yardstick...
n understand..
90 percent of all humans..guys or girls..are TRASH !!
do you make th CUT ??
i m sure you do ..
~~*nishant*~~
Men are indeed polgamists but in a more monogamic way!! As an explanation as u wrote Monogamy is defined as "the practice or state of being married to one person at a time or the habit of having only one mate at a time" and so thats what men follow..they always have only one gal with them at one point of time..they always make sure that one doesnt meet the other..they make commendable efforts to always be recognised as monogamists!!! But the question which i would like to raise is that under the food chain can you name any species in which men are monogamists in a monogamic way and is there any species where women dont drive the relationship? The point which i want to highlight is that there is a body which is indeed ruled by brain...but brain has definitions which it needs to follow...some biologists call those rules "genes" some call them "nature". If you think from a broader perspective ..from each neutron to each atom..from each carbon structure to each concrete structure ...from dust to sun...to any god damn thing...each thing is destined or defined to behave in a certain manner and so it does!!! The day it tries to defy the behaviour it collapses...Thats the beauty of nature...Either u follow its rules or crave for existence.. even though women kno men are polygamists still they expect them to be monogamists similarly even if men kno that women deserve monogamy..still they behave like polygamist!! ironical but truth...and the only justification is that the male and the female species are behaving in this peculiar way beocz they are defined to do so!!!
I appreciate that u hve done a lot of research on understanding man but it could have been more meaningfull if i put some more positive sense to it...Although it is already quite contentfull....carry on ur research.....if u do such type of research then it helps in undrstnding u ur own identity...:)
sharma.nirmal@yahoo.com
sharma.nirmal@yahoo.com
Why would someone tell a lie to their close ones or to their beloved?
This is a question most often asked by lovers. Since love cannot stand untruth, this causes relationships to break up. The solution lies in understanding the paradox of love and truth.
People tell lies just to save and maintain their love. The fear that the truth might damage their love causes lies to be told between husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend, parents and children and in family situations.
In love you feel weak and truth brings strength. Yet why do people prefer love over truth, i.e. weakness over strength?!
No one wants to sacrifice love. Thus people are ready to give up the truth for their love. Love takes the luster out of truth. Sometimes truth can make love bitter while in love even lies can appear sweet, like Krishna’s lies to his mother Yashoda!
The truth that does not nourish love has no sense and the love that cannot withstand the truth is not true love. When one is assured that the love is so strong that the truth can neither break it nor cause bitterness, then the truth prevails and love shines.
Truth has judgments, but true love is beyond judgments. Thus true love makes you weak and yet it is the greatest strength.
Just commenting and blaming the full mankind with your single observation is not true path ...
Putting stories and reason for blame can be brought from any side...
what if said "Understanding Women "
and long stories... about women .. highly ignoring , highly inconsiderate , highly rude...
reason could be any ... Don't they know whatz going the heart of men or her lover, what are his intention ... but simple reaction to all this goes is just to ignore.. or just to feel that they are dumb .. are they really dumb or just showing and paying no attention ..
how many heart they break but for no reason .. how to understand what the look or demand... no one could till now explain it neither... could any 1 explain this future...
the secret lies in her deep heart .. which never explodes out .. and blame given is just to men.. . who could listen ...
but how can men listen until that bubble of desire explodes out .. he is not extra ordinary ... with super power,, but he only small creature made by god...
seems they expects a lot ... but Why .. .?
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